• it's a strange feeling. there were green sheets on his bed and my underwear was also green. the grass outside was very green because the driveway had a pink tint to it. i didn't feel anything, but he was kind. maybe i just like them mean. in fact, maybe i am a little mean. beyond the big smile and big eyes there is just a big bad person. no one takes me seriously so i get away with it. it's nice sometimes. i slept in my friend's bed last night- he had rough, patterned sheets- and he tried so hard but i just didn't want to. he touched me and tried but i felt bored and sleepy. overall, life is good. i have a nice family, lots of nice friends, a nice dog, and my school and work are both going well. it's just me that's messed up. it broke my heart last night to hear my friend's girlfriend break down- "i just try so hard and he walked away without me" she cried. she's a great girl. i love my friend, but he could have been more sensitive to her feelings. she was being irrational, but that's what booze and love does to a girl. i'm not good at being close to people. 
  
  here's some kanye west for ya.
  
  "On a bathroom wall I wrote:

  'I'd rather argue with you than to be with someone else.'

  I took a piss and dismiss it like fuck it and I went and found somebody else.

  Fuck arguing or harvesting the feelings, I'd rather be by my fucking self

  Till about 2am and I call back and I hang up and start to blame myself."

  i miss people who don't deserve to be missed. they kindled my fire but now i'm only ash.

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