• It's been so long, but I really don't have anywhere else to be impartial and just write and write and write. 

  So, I've found myself in this situation, and it's horrible, you know when you sleep with someone and it's supposed to just be a one night stand? Then you realise that you love them, that those feelings from a year ago came back. And that's fine, until it's unmanageable. And the issue is that she's the one woman who your partner hates, and who if you have a relationship with she's going to leave. And now you're stuck between electric and candlelight. They're these two women, who you cannot live without, who you live the same amount, but who have entirely different effects on you. 

  I want both, but I know I can't have it all. I need to tell S, but then I lose her, I lose my future, my stability. If I tell J I can't do it anymore, I don't know. We tried, we tried, and that lead to the longest, most intense kiss of my life, slammed against the hallway floor. 

  I fucking hate this, that I can't choose, but it's not that, I know what I need to choose, S is good for me, S is lovely. 

  ARGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH. I'm fucked. I love the romance, I love the cuteness, and the intensity with J. 

  This is going nowhere. 

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