• I thought I told myself I was going to stop posting shit like that when I was drunk, partly because the simple and earnest tone embarrasses me. I guess it's fairly innocent, though. Heavy-handed wish fulfillment dreams are kind of funny and cute sometimes. I feel compelled to offer context that I wasn't able to reconstruct appropriately at the time (because I was d r u n k) -- in the driving dream, I get the feeling that we are escaping some sort of end of the world calamity, and the war scenario was imminent total destruction of the earth by aliens or zombies or something. They always seem to be apocalyptic. My little girl subconscious screams "come save me!" ( from what? myself?) or "we can escape!" (again, from what? reality?) That seems sort of naive and cute and harmless if I'm in a good mood. I happen to be in a fairly good one today. I mean this as sort of a bookend, I guess. I like how I've felt the past few days, not compulsively obsessing over the content of several different sources that are not related to me, except maybe (I wish) only tangentially every once in a while. I like being able to talk to you in reality again. I forgot how much energy it takes to be living halfway in the ether and halfway grounded. I do enjoy being out there, especially if I think you are there too--I just shouldn't spend all of my time divided like that, looking for you. But that door is always open, and I am fairly certain I will find myself there again, and maybe you as well if I'm lucky. In the meantime, I'll look for you in the real world. I hope I see you soon.

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