• I know that things can really get rough when you go it alone Don't go thinking you gotta be tough, and play like a stone Might be there’s nothing else in our lives, so critical As this little home sobriety the word itself felt foreign to her, alnguage she couldnt understand what did normal people do with their days? all thise hours of time stretched out in front of them/ well, i mean, she'd tried that route once, hadn't she? reality televesision ah yes! get lost inside the lives of winners forget the losers maybe it was always a contest or maybe it wasnt she sat here big clumsy fingers forcing themselves to make that sound that tap tap tap tap work getting accomplished a white piwder up your nose and your eyes feel out of focus. good thing she doesnt have to drive for a while no and if you look in the mirror, i doubt you'd know these are the kind of drugs our parents havent even heard of this is some reolutionary shit here a new age philosophy on getting fucked up psychedelics that had been the orign like all things, the orgin was good and pure expanding the mind that was the goal and it expanded and expanded like laffy taffy slithery snakes, so sweet they snap and then there's this gap between the beginning and how far we've veered down the path from normal and the kind of life your mom would want you to have for yourself you know there are how to books. zen and the art of happiness the power of now! but are you that desperate yet? or is there still a chance you have the answer somewhere inside that topsy turvy carnival ride of a brain? "fried" thats the word they use for acid headstoo much thinking, stimulation, entertainment, escape escape escape into where? blank white pages whats the format? is there a schedule? i liked the fill in the blank quizzes better you know, where you tell me who im supoosed to be and all i do is duck my head and roll follow, go with the flow i got angry at you when you tried to make me be the leader that was stupid you push me in all the right directions remember the keys: music and motion i should make an outline a pretty picture, abstract life or a collage. i can do a collage what if i decorate my room with art and hope and happiness? shift the environment so it feels like im something something besides stagnant autistic i've never typed that word before how strange ive used hundered and thousands of them, but never that one does it define me? can it be my excuse? i never wanted to draw attention to myself

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