• that nothing is ever going to make you happy. I wish I were smart or disciplined enough to let that knowledge change the way I feel. Unfortunately, I'm neither wise nor disciplined. I've been making this mistake my whole life, trying to love people who are telling me in no uncertain terms to fuck off, or are at least sending mixed messages. I persist because I think I can break them, tear down their walls, heal them. I have a nice fucked-up codependent martyr complex. Why the fuck do you think I got a degree in psychology? And yeah, I've been trained for pain--probably more than you can dish out. Fucking bring it. I dare you.

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