• and nothing has changed. its a year later essentially and i still love him and he "still loves me". but i refuse to date him. but i want to so badly. but there are two different people inside him and i only love one and its so hard. and i respect myself too much. but i feel so awful because we hang out and act very coupley all the time but its so hard to get away from that especially when we both like it. but as soon as he tries to get in a relationship i just shut down. i don't want to belong to someone again especially him - he doesn't deserve me.

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