• is that I create situations in which I have a choice either to move forward or to repeat old, destructive patterns (which I thought I'd given up long ago), and instead of choosing either of those options, I get scared and relinquish control--sometimes voluntarily, sometimes involuntarily--and do terrible things, because either shame will keep me from attending to the issue, or my actions will finally prove me unworthy of any further attention. I am painfully aware of my self-destructive addictive behaviors, I'm just too stupid and scared to do anything about them right now for some reason.

• to hear your life sucks.

  bellababyon April 11, 2012   Link

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