• There's one line that just gets me every time. "Katie it's a strange world when girls can get so broken hearted" rising in harmony, fragile vibrations; a perfect understanding And my heart it just melts at the center, lets the music fill my blood like gold dust, unravel me, take me home Andrew gets it where do you go with your broken heart in tow? the world is so repulsed by sadness It soaks you through, like getting caught in the rain for a while you become an ornament a package marked HANDLE WITH CARE and for a few weeks you're allowed to cry but somehow, those million water drops filled with the secrets of your pain don't seem to be enough and it starts to scare you because you've never cried this much your skin must be melting everything is absorbing in it oozes out at the worst of places disgusting, this messy thing you have become beseeching people pathetic desperate, please please help me and no matter how kind they are, sometimes its just not their place to care you don't want to be that kind of person, who spills their life on the floor for perfect strangers you feel so out of control and no matter how many times you change your clothes, no matter how many hot showers you take there is still a cold that lingers in your bones and you know its ridiculous and illogical but you can't deny that it's there, that the discomfort is pressing that its NOT something you can deal with wake up make up pretty smile for the rest of your life when there is such an aching absence of something warm when you've been on the other side and seen what its like to have someone hold your heart I know because I've been there for a year i was a puddle a pair of feet, so weak for every climb and it got worse and worse and worse until i realized i was the only one who was going to make it better i watch grace and i feel this tenderness we're both just doing the best we can to carry around this unspoken weight is so tiring, but there is still so much other good and the way i've coped is no worse or better than anyone else's but its so easy to criticize to hear the critique and wonder "am i doing the right thing?" but there's no answer maybe there never was even when you were together and it all seemed so perfect, maybe it was just wishful thinking maybe if you weren't so young, if he wasn't your first, if he hadn't promised forever i take all the variables, add and subtract, a nonsense equation of things that never happened, and chances i'll never take and i wonder still if i could be happier if i ever will be? or is that the best i'll ever get and all i leave with is a memory?

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