• The way I think about things is all fucked up. Doesn't help that I am super not confident, have low self esteem and depressed. I have started having feelings for Zac, and we always have a great time when we are together. We have fun, we can just chill, but I honestly don't think that I mean anything more to him than just a good fuck. It honestly bothers me to no end that guys just seem to only feel that much for me. I don't understand why I am always just that. I have tried so hard, and when I thought maybe I was trying too hard, I stopped trying, just waited for things to come my way, but it never did. In all honesty, I wish that Zac actually felt something for me. Actually wanted me around. I'm not just a good fuck. I'm more than that, I just haven't felt what it is to be cared about in a very long time. I forgot what it feels like.

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