• Sometimes I'm really lonely. Just so fucking lonely. sometimes its a mix between feeling no love or feeling empty. I guess both really connect with each other. I find it hard to connect to people most times. And i try. I really do. It's just difficult to walk into a room and hear empty words filling my ears. All about things. Not about people or their feelings. I have tried to talk about my things but i always sound ill-informed. And i take pride in not knowing a lot about my things. I want to get to know more about my people. We have such little to to spend with each other before we all take different routes into life and all they want to say to me is worthless crap. The people i do hang out with are better than most. They help out but i can not bring myself to honestly let loose whats in my mind. And i'm sure its not just me feeling that way, if everybody told everybody else what was honestly going thought their minds, the world would be chaos. I would just like to see one day where everybody had to be honest. No topic off limit. That would be an interesting day. I would learn so much. I like to observe people. What they do. How they do it. And, if its a good day, i can see by they're actions why they do it. And honestly, I'm very accurate at what i do. But i've been a watcher for so long that it's getting harder and harder to break the fourth wall. I've only being watching for so long, that i don't really know how to put my self in society. How do i act. So i've been trying to just throw myself in the middle of the action. That doesn't turn out so well. I'll just wait a little longer.

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