• If I had come over to help you an hour earlier, would things be any different? Probably not. I am ashamed that this even hurts me. It's hypocritical and foolish for me to be jealous, but I want to punch that girl in the face. I don't even know who she is. I should just be happy that I got to hear a song I thought might never be performed live (I loved the entire set, actually, but I had to temper my reactions because I was being watched). I don't scrobble my ipod specifically so that there is no evidence of how much I listen to that song. But the fact that you left out the last two lines seemed significant to me. Maybe it wasn't significant at all and you just didn't feel like saying them or they no longer fit or you were just drunk and forgot what they were. I should stop guessing at hidden intent and quit reading meaning into anything and cease trying to perceive patterns that aren't there. It just leads me down the same path of complete misery, which seems to keep going in one big fucking circle. I suppose I should follow well-known advice about living in the present. I keep inventing hope for something that seems to be destined for failure. I don't know what I thought was going to happen. But I was so happy to hear from you, and I was glad I could help you. But I was also disappointed to see you were not alone. I still want to punch that girl, and I know that's completely unfair, irrational, and nonsensical. Do you remember the dirty look I gave you at the bar? That was jealousy.

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