So I got to see him last night, which was something I (obviously) have wanted and needed for some time, and we talked for a while. That seems cool, right?
As I was driving The Man (you know, always keeping me down, haha, gallows humor) to work this morning he asked me "what went down with you and [my friend I am always writing about] last night?" and I had no idea what he meant. He was really pissed off. The last thing I remember was talking to my friend at the bar about the one who keeps me down and how he used to know him when they were kids. That must have been a trigger for something, because that's the end of my memory. Absolutely nothing after that. End scene, cut right to black, no fading even.
He says my friend and I were both crying and wanted to know why. I think he's making it up, trying to get me to confess to something. As far as I know, I've done nothing wrong except fall in love with his friend...but I haven't _done_ anything about it, and I can't control that. A happy heart does not care to wander. Maybe try not throwing me away repeatedly?
But if that is true, I certainly would like to know what I said to him, or what he said to me, or why we were crying. Obviously, I know what the underlying theme would have been, but I wonder if we were addressing that directly. If there were any confessions on either side, I sure would like to know that. But I can't really text him and ask him what happened, because he probably doesn't remember either, or if he does remember, doesn't want to tell me he remembers, or doesn't want to remember, or just doesn't want to tell me anything at all, or is upset with me. I'd be upset too if someone left me in a bar crying after that person (meaning me) just professed their love for me and then left with their fiance.
How could I fuck something like that up? Maybe I should try talking to him SOBER, for christ's sake.
apparently I have fucked up again
- October 25, 2011
- artemisagrotera
- 1 Comment
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