I hate being alone. That's when I think, and think way too much. I think about being ugly, being fat, being alone. I think about crying for no reason. I'm so tired of trying to play it off as though I don't care about being single still.
Just think about it this way.
It has been almost 2 years that I have been in a real committed relationship. Almost 2 years since somebody actually cared about me as a person, as a lover and as a friend. It has been almost 2 years since I have been loved at all.
It has been 15 months since I have given my all in a relationship. It has been 15 months since I have really held somebody's hand and had them hold it back, and not just think about having sex with me. It has been 15 months since I have been in an actual relationship, even though the guy was a total waste of my time.
It has been 6 months since I have been with anybody physically. It has been 6 months since I have found somebody who would give me a shot at dating. Clearly I am nobody's first choice, and that really sucks to know.
More and more each day I am thinking that I am going to become a cat lady. More and more each day I feel that I am never going to be happy, that I am never going to have somebody there to help me.
I don't need somebody to be there with me, I have been on my own for almost 2 years now, never giving anybody my all. But the fact is, I would like there to be somebody for me out there. I just want to know if somebody would care if I were to die tonight.
One of those days.
- October 24, 2011
- Lindseyy2321
- 6 Comments
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6 Comments
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Me too, of course I would care! I was trying to distract your thoughts, by putting something positive instead, that is what we must train our minds to do, when a sad thought comes in. Easy said than done, but it works for me. XXX
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Sometimes life can be lonely for many people.
Write a list of 8 things you like, that you are grateful for. Read this list every day as you get up. Also, when you go to sleep, think of 3 things that make you happy, or 3 things you are grateful for, even if it is something silly like a tree in your garden. Then every night, do the same. You will actually find it makes you feel really happy. X -
Plenty of people would care. You doing ok?
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Do you have friends? It often helps if you have good friends, it is even better than having a boyfriend.
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