• "If this is goodbye to you and me, what a good friend you've been to me And i owe it all to you, every good thing that i do is you. " i was listening to this song as i'm studying for my economics test on wednesday... and oh dear... is this what we'll become? me and adrian... this is scarying the shit out of me... i still want something more and i want to hope that it'll happen eventually, in a few days.... but if he's let go... then i have to... but if he hasn't, then i don't want to let go and have everything go to shit... oh my, i'm freaking out just a little bit inside right now... "I used to think that you were someone else, then I'd lose my mind each day I used to think that i could help myself, but its true what they say, "there's no reason without way" " yeah... this verse reminds me of before... december of last year... i thought that he could be so much better... i thought he was awesome overall... and we started drifting apart or whatever happened, i'm not quite sure what did happen... but then he did stupid stuff... "I used to wish that i was someone else, then i'd dream away the day Those dreams have made me into someone new and its true what they say, "there's no better time than today" " this verse... is just something that i feel within myself... i wish that i could be different, i always have... and i'd dream or fantasize about it... but when i heard that some one possibly liked me for me, i felt new... and that there was no better time than today... and now it's back to square one... i just haven't quite made it completely through this verse. "if this is goodbye to you and me well, what good friends we will always be and i owe it all to you, every good thing that i do is you " maybe i just need to talk to him... but that's so hard when the thoughts and feelings just aren't very coherent within myself... i need to find out "if this is goodbye to you and me" or was... i guess i just need to find that out to be able to let go properly... and i know that i won't be able to let go until i find someone new... but i have not urge to find that someone new, when i know there could always be that possibility... i just want to be better for him... although, he could be saying the same thing... that's why he's holding back, is because he knows that i think he can be so much better, and maybe he just wants to be that man before we possibly get together... but i don't want it to be too late for him... i still feel that attraction... and i just circled, that's all i seem to do when it comes to him... that's all i seem to do... along with getting my hopes up, and scared that they will be cut down and dashed away forever...

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