• "But deep inside in the corner of my mind I'm attatched to you" Ryan Cabrera today... I decided to listen to him while I read my chapter for Economics tonight... and of course, his lyrics got me thinking. Those first ones up there, is what started it off. And again this will be about Adrian. I just want him in my life, and closer than just a friend. Will that ever come? That's why this lyric rang inside my head... I'm always going to be attached to him, until I find someone new. But how can I find someone new if I'm holding out for him. *argh* frustration. "I'm weak/It's true Cause I'm afraid to know the answer Do you want me too? Cause my heart keeps falling faster" I want to know how he feels... but I can't talk about it to anyone. Back home, they all know what he did.. and they tell me forget about him. But I know! I know deep inside that he could be so much better than he is... and he knows I think that. When will it ring through? It has to be sitting there in the back of his mind. What's it going to take? Will I find someone else and start talking about it... and something will arise? If that's true, then I want to find someone now, just to move it along. I hate being such a big believer in fate sometimes. I know that whatever is supposed to happen, will happen in due time? I want it to be right now! Ahhhhhhh! "I'm weak / It's true I'm just scared to know the ending Do you see me too? Do you even know you met me?" This verse thing was from before... before I knew that he felt the same... So this is kind of a going back in time for me. Maybe it's still true right now... Maybe he's thinking that it'll never happen. But if he thinks that, then really why is he talking to me? Because there's no one else there to talk to... no one that he wants to talk to... What if inside his head, I'm first... That makes me think of Friday night... I watched a couple movies... and the second was over at 2am... so I come back to my room, and I go on this website to see if I got any mail, and some guy IM's me... so I spent the next hour, putzing around and talking to him... and I went to bed at like three, b/c I was falling asleep at my computer. Anyways, when I got up in the morning, I saw that like 15 minutes after I went to bed (joys of timestamps), Adrian said hi... LOL... but on this other website, he posted a bulletin, saying basically that he was drunk and it was great. That kinda makes me think about what I said what if I'm first... sure, my status was away, but he still wanted to talk to me... I kinda wish I had been awake, because I think that would've been greatly amusing. Too bad we're not closer that we talk on the phone (but I hate phones, I don't really care to talk on them) because that would've been a hella amusing phone call... *sigh* "I've waited all my life/ To cross this line To the only thing that's true So I will not hide/ It's time to try Anything to be with you All my life I've waited/ This is true."

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