• i only write on here at specific points in my life, and then i randomly decide to put in posts about 'normality' but they never seem to make much sense. so, it's that time of the year, month, day, lunar cycle, whatever again. I'm sick, i have a massive assigment to do- worth 40% on a topic i don't understand, due friday. i am actually spending every wasted minute yelling at myself to do my work, but nothing is happening i'm too tired. i'm supposed to be going out three nights this week, but i think that's a terrible idea. and then, there's you. so, we're spending a fair bit more time together, and yes, we've been sleeping together, and that 'love' word has been used, multiple times in fact. and you posted on here, now, that was a surprise. i still love you, and you, say that you love me too. when we're together... well... it feels like it did, right back in the beginning. in those heady days of finding out all about who you were, the incessant texts, conspiring to spend even a few minutes together. it's like that, but older, deeper, different. i love you more these days. this love it feels physically deeper, i don't know if that makes sense. but i know, that i care for you, with such tenderness it makes me ache. it feels as if my heart is straining against my rib cage, wanting to be let out so that it can scream to the whole world "my heart belongs to jacinta rose" it's a stronger love, more considered than last time. it just feels different, and it feels different in a good way. and at the same time, i don't want to dive into a relationship, it's enough to spend time together, to be in your life, your arms sometimes and to know you feel a similar way. i'm not even sure that i'm expressing things clearly, all i know, is that i do love you, and in the future, yes, i still want to be with you. right now, what we have, it's enough. and actually, it's quite lovely.

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