• i write this journal for myself, if an entry is adressed to you in anyway, then it's me communicating with you. otherwise, it's just for me. last night. i'm sorry. i guess i knew you'd read that post eventually. i didn't mean it to hurt, i wasn't even thinking about you when i wrote it... does that make me selfish? possibly. i'm sorry you heard details, but if i feel like it, i'm going to write about her. and yeah, it's a just a crush, a strong one but just a crush. have you noticed, we've swapped roles? the other day you were telling me about your thing for caitlyn, and for that other girl (? maybe, i can't remember) and i said i didn't want to see you. i think.. i think, that we need to be apart. the going from not being together, to being just friends straight away never works, and we've shown that. and i won't deny, in the future, i probably/may will want to be with you again, there's still a part of me, that thinks 'what if' after america, or even, in less of the future than that. i guess, i forget sometimes how different we are. i don't know what you want, and i don't know how i can help you.we were together such a logn time, and to be honest, it was very intense for most of it, so it's going to take time to get used to that. i'm just going to leave you be. and as a warning, i may post more about emma, or what i've been doing. just ignore it, but i've been writing heaps lately, all of which will probably be posted here eventually. i want to get back into writing. i can't think of anything else to say.

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