• Well, my dream that I had last night was weird. It involved Sam S. He will be known now as SS. ANyway, when it made me feel more like I just want my first kiss. Maybe it was the fact that I had really wanted it last month, but it didn't happen. Oh well, at least I had an almost first kiss in my dream. Close enough I guess... Anyway, when I woke up this morning I was really just depressed. I hadn't wanted to even walk out of my room because I just didn't know hwo I was ever going to face everyone. You see, I wasn't angry at my dad for looking at my private stuff. Well, I was angry but I knew it would only last a few moments. Then, Emily told me she knew what I wrote. That is what really got me. It is one thing to look through my things, but then to show my older sister? I mean, there was stuff about her in there too. That was what made me unable to walk outside of my room, the fact taht there were two people there who knew. I never thought that it would come to this, but I am really disliking my dad right now. If only he hadn't told Emily... I have never had anything like this happen to me before. I have never been so humiliated that I didn't even want to get out of bed at all because I was so embarrased. I can't believe my own father would do taht to me. I havn't been able to look anybody in the eye this whole day. I feel so awkward when I am around my dad and Emily, and my mom. I only feel comfortable when |I'm around Ruth and Nan. I have just been feeling really depressed today. I just don't want to be around any of my family members. (sigh) I have never experienced this amount of embarrasent before, and the fact taht my dad has bestowed it upon me is even worse. After I found out last night that Emily knew, I just lay in bed, listening to music non stop for about an hour. Doing nothing. I didn't even think of anything that had happened, I just focused on the music. I guess that is why I actually managed not to cry that night, because I was just putting all of my attention towards the songs taht were playing on my ipod. Thanks G-d for music. Other than being depressed, nothing much happened today. I guess I feel better now about it all, I mean, I sort of warmed up to people again since we started watching a movie about an hour ago. (sigh). Whatever, I just need to relax. I still have my Hebrew thing to do, ut I have decided that I will rather do my work in the second week of the holidays. That way I have the third week to just relax and stuff. Well, I don't have much else to say, except for the fact that I am still shutting down all of my emotions. I don't even put any faces on my statuses on my phone because I think it just shows too much emotioin. I just have to remember. I don't care anymore.

• No Comments

Log in now to tell us what you think this song means.

Don’t have an account? Create an account with SongMeanings to post comments, submit lyrics, and more. It’s super easy, we promise!