i wake up exhausted

  • no matter how much time passes, i just can't seem to lose the trace of you you're everywhere my memories my present infiltrating everything all my new experiences interpreted with a glimmer of your cynicism every little comment gets inside my head i forget which words were mine, are mine and which ones came from you i question everything that once locked me safe in my perfect charmed life my heart is bleeding out of control i never knew it was possible to contain this much defeat for so long you'd think it would morph somehow, evaporate into something lighter, less cumbersome the problem is i know the right answer it just comes at too high a cost we were beautiful and young and perfectly in love no matter the other facts, i have to keep repeating that one i can't let you mar my memories can't let the sting of your coolness in response to my hysteria come anymore as a surprise we will always love each other in a distant sense that requires no more than a worded commitment no matter how worked up i get, i can't seem to make you move for you, the book is closed we had a run but now we have too many miles better to just turn back we're both so locked in our own paces this can't be done together we need some me in here fuck all that shit about team work i need to get on the defensive
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