• I don’t really feel like the world of tumblr is ready for the full extent of my inadequacies and self loathing. so i'm trying to pretend that i'm coping. and i sort of am. except for uni work, that has just gone out the window. i don't care, not really. i know i'm throwing away money. but i don't care. so, i feel like a horrible person i just am. oh guess what. luke fucking taylor is back in adelaide. until october. so yeah. last night, i got home from work, feeling like shit, and got incredibly drunk bymsyelf and spent a very very long time on the phone to lian. and good sir, i'm sorry for your phone bil. it was the most fucked up conversation i ever had..... it's not going to happen. sorry dear. just. can't believe. i'm going t hush now. so yeah. life just feels sucky. in places, like the 6:30 train home after work in the morning, it's so lonely, and, being my nighttime everything bad comes up in my head. i don't even know. these thoughts were so succint in my head last night. just, Jay, i'm fine not being with you. but like you said, i miss the cuddles. that routine, it was so comforting know it was there. and it was lovely. sos yeah. my head is a mess. seeng my shrink tuesday, hopefully he helps. i need to sort my shit out. i've started wanting to cut again. which isn't fun.

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