• I gotta get myself out today. Maybe just over to the park or something and just sit there for a while. And realise what a big dump i'm living in. I don't know why i was scared there was a good chance we would move. But we're not, it's obvious. I was doubtful. But now i hate it so much here. All the crap that happens here is just... crappy. But yeah, i could just sit there. As long as there aren't too many people around, don't so much like people here excluding my friends. 80% of them are perverts anyway. I think in all my 17 years of life i've nearly found them all. They make me scared and sad but i gotta deal with it. Ok i'm kinda rambling. There is another reason why i gotta go out though. I still gotta get myself some air as i've pretty much shut myself away these past 4 and a half months, but i'm getting out slowly. I think i only went out three times last month? It would be the first time out on my own. I do hope i can go out. Beside, Mum's calorie-counting is driving me just a little insane. I don't want her to get obssessed with it, it can be done! It's good that she's finally come round. I haven't seen her look this good since i was born. She's almost at my starting weight now, which is really weird. I don't wanna think about that... Jeez, i talk a lot of crap, huh?

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