• Okay so I think I said taht I didn't want to go to Sidne's party, well, when I got there, everything was different, I had such an amazing time. I wasn't being all chatty and stuff which was great. I wasn't being anti-social, I mean, I spoke when I needed to and and when I had something to say, but I didn't annoy myself this time with my retarded outbursts. Okay so for the first part of her party, I was just watching a movie with everyone, then I was on sitting on the trampoline with everyone which was a lot of fun, but the second half was what got me feeling great. Okay so I saw these guitars, and I asked if I could play and stuff while everyone was outside, and I was playing Lella's giutar, and it is fricken amazing! I was just playing, and then Sam and Rob and... someone else, were there as well, just playing their instrument and attempting to beatbox. I pretty much did that until everyone left, and when Sam left he acttually said goodbye to me, which I thought was sweet. Anyway, so then everyone had left except for Josh because he wasn't sleeping over but he was staying until like, 11:00 or something, and now we were all in the art/music room thing, me, Kayla, Sidne and Josh and I was jammin on the guitar. I started playing "WIsh You Were Here" and that was when Josh and I sort of... Well, sort of connected in a way. Like, we were becoming better friends kind of, and we were both about to start bursting into tears because, well I had already loved the song, and Josh had never heard it and when I started playing it he had automaticlly loved it. Anyway, we were then opening to the presents and stuff, and Josh and I were listening to my ipod, and I asked him if he knew the song "The Chain" by Fleetwood Mac and he froze and stared at me, and he said "That was the fist song I learnt on the drums!" and then I put it on the ipod and we were both just like, listening and singing to it. We also listened to Hold The Line (which I was surprised to hear taht he had already heard it) and also One by U2 and I introduced to him the song New Machine Parts 1 and 2 which he loved. I don't know, we just sort of... became closer as friends. Anyway, so I went to sleep that night, completely depressed because I hadn't wanted to go to Adam's barmi the next day (today). So when I got there, guess what happened. Everything completely changed! As I walked on tht ground, I knew I would have an amazing time, and i did! I mean, I was just playing catch with Liat adn Hayden for most of the time, which was a lot of fun, and then this magician came and he was pretty cool. And then I went to play catch again, and Robyn (Josh's mom) said that Josh had told her that I had a very good taste in music, and that I was cool and that I had the coolest songs on my ipod. Then I had said something like "Well tell Josh I say thanks :)" and then she said "It's ncie that you two have something in common" And then I said "Ya" which I realized a few hours ago that taht ws the stupidest reply ever! It made me seem like I didn't think taht we did have things in common, and that I was bored of talking to her or something! I should have said "Yes, it's great taht there are actually people that listen to good music" WHY DIDN'T I SAY THAT???!!!!!!!!!! URGH! Well, now whenever I hear the song "The Chain", I think of Josh. I don't like him or anything, I mean, I have a lot of friends taht songs remind me of them, so I just don't want people to think I like him!!! Anyway, so then we had this sort of connecting moment again at Adam's barmi, well, two actually, and it was cool :). I realise that like, when I talk to him, I just.. Well I sort of have fun and stuff. Of course I doubt this will be a regular thing, I mean, he has his group of friends, and I doubt they would ever want me to talk to them and stuff, and he won't be leaving his group of friends. And even if they did want to, I'm the type of person who doesn't make the first move. If someone wants to tlak to me,a nd I want to talk to them, they have to come to me first. Well, when I came back everything was just boring and normal again, my mom started shit, we ate supper, now i'm on the computer. Of course I studies and stuff too, but that is just way too boring to even mention... Even though I did just mention it right now. Anway, this weekend has been amazing and I really enjoyed myself. It's too bad this means somehting bad is going to happen to me. (sigh)

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