• Like I didn't make a big enough mess!!!! i stopped by his apartment with a humble appologie letter - not trying to repair anything just sorry i offended him i had no idea he had this 'disorder' left a little potted plant and the apologie letter (very short) and decided to set him free. It's hard tho. I don't like it when people are mad at me - i thought i was a thoughtfull person now i see i have some of my own work to do. i will learn some lessons from this. i hope one day he isn't mad at me anymore. i wish him all the courage in the world to tell people of his disorder and get support. i would love to give that support but aparantly i am part of the stress that fuels his disorder. who would have thought you could cause someone so much stress - someone who invited you into their life? he asked me for coffee, he asked me to dinner, he asked me for the first kiss, oh god i can't think of this anymore. it was so rare the things we had in commen not everything but weird things i've been thinking only one in a million people could have that in commen with me. i wanted to treasure that and him. now I can only wish him fierce courage and steadfast. xo i'll miss you xo

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