• For once, the lack of sleep is natural i have never felt so drugged while sober i am switching to a polyphasic sleep schedule called SPAMAYL 20 min naps, atleast 40 min apart surprisingly im not exhausted and i haven't even fucked it up yet the extra time to myself tonight has been strange how many things can you possibly fill your life with until you've had your share? i watched a lot of music videos surfed the web, read a book is this better use of my time than sleeping? i'd like to think so its just another way of pushing my body proving i am extraordinary that i can survive and excel with a method that is rejected by the norm my tiny ways of escaping construct here all alone in the night i am sure i got into a fight with brian today he yelled at me and it popped my bubble i felt scared and naked i wanted everything to go away it was because i don't stand up for myself i let everyone walk all over me with the biggest smile on my face i care, but i have to pretend i don't i have no energy to fight i'd rather have friends who use me than no friends at all

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