• Okay, so today this morning was pretty hectic. The ex-pianist from freshly ground, who is now a music producer, came to our school this morning with this guy from prison named Larry Joe (he is out of prison now). Now Larry Joe is a guitarist, and he really got into his music in prison. We then watched a video of him in prison and then we wathced one of his music videos. It was all very very very interesting. Now this guy is good, I mean really good. He started when he was 3 and he did a concert when he was 5. He then played us these three songs and everybody clapped and everything. Then at the end, Mev. BOthis (our principle) said something that really got me thinking. What she said was "Please put up your hand if Larry Joe has really inspired you" And everybody put up their hands, including me. He really has inspired me a lot, he has inspired me to stop playing guitar. Now, that will never happen because I love it too much, but it got me thinking "What's the point?" I am never ever going to be good, I am never going to be good enough to play guitar in front of people, even if I started busking, I would never get money. I am just so bad. It doesn't matter if it's my passion, I am no good at it and there is no point in me even playing. When I decided this, I then wondered what I am actually good at. Nothing. That is the answer, I am not good at anything. If you think about it, there is not one thing out there that I am good at. Sure, I love guitar, and I love art, and I love hip-hop and I love my music, and I love to write and to read and | love photography, but I am not good at any of it. Why do I even do these things if I am no good at them? Maybe I hsould just become one of those people who just sit around watching TV all day because they have nothing they like to do that they are good at. I just... I don't want it to be like this. I want to be good at something but there is just nothing for me to be good at. I hate it. I honestly thought I was getting somewhere with guitar, but with not wanting to go to lessons, I pretty much suck. (sigh), I guess I am just one of those people who aren't good at anything. URRRRRRGGGHHHH I JUST WANT TO SCREAM AT THE TOP OF MY LUNGS!!!!!!!!! Other than all of that, today wasn't so bad. The parent teacher meeting was okay, but Mrs Cook was a bitch. I hate her, I honestly can't stand her. I have the party tomorrow, and I doubt it's going to be any fun. I am just really upset right now. I think tonight just might be one of those nights when I'm in tears. Of course nobody sees me, because I'm in bed. Nothing has been happening with me and DB lately, he sometimes talks to me at school, but other tha that, I get the feeling he doesn't want to hang around me, and I don't blame him. I am boring and not good at anything, why would anybody want to hang around me? (sigh) well, I best be off, I am completely bored and upset right now, and that is never a good combination.

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