• my life, the correct way has so much predictability this is not a coincidence years of practice have taught me to engineer it this way i do it because if everything should suddenly fall apart i'll always have a routine to hide inside while i put it back together i dream about cocaine and car crashes these should be my nightmares i watch movies about addicts and all i think is how? how does one get to that breaking point? where is that specific thread of fate to cut so that moving forward no longer matters i went to sleep last night looking harder to see the value i wanted passion i only got a warm body maybe safety is more important still haven't talked to matt still not in love with living still not afraid still not secure i want to be on the fucking edge of happiness give me peaks give me downfalls i reject the ordinary i don't want to be happy i'd rather be experienced

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