• I just want to start off by saying thank you to all of the people who reply to my journals, you guys are the ones who keep me writing on here, even though I highly doubt that you would veer want to read my stuff anyway. But still, thanks. So I just want to say that the minute after I wrote on my journal yesterday about the thing with Deej and if he doesn't have the conversation with me then I won't like him, well I want to say that I had immediately changed it to to three days time, he didn't talk to me once today, but he still has two days left so I am still not quite sure yet. I have been thinking about it and I can't tell whether I like him or not, I don't think I like him, but if I don't, then why do I want this "date" type thing with him so badly? It's not just a thing where I want a date, and I just think I want it with Deej but I really don't. I only want it with him, it just wouldn't be the same with any other boy. Wow, I hope no one I know reads this. Anyway, I lost my homeowrk diary today but I think I know where it is, all I need is to ask the teacher to unlock the door so that I can get it from the classroom. It didn't matter today though because we don't have any homework. We hardly get any homework, it's so cool. Anyway, the awesome thing that happened today after school was that I went to go pick out a guitar for my birthday, which is by the way in 2 days time! YAY! Anyway, I narrowed it down. One is a red guitar, and it's cheap and all, and the other is a black guitar, it's more expensive but my dad is going to try negotiate with the guy, I like the black one better but if the guy is too stubbourn, then I will just get the red one. It will be so cool! I just can't believe that I am spending so much money! Half of it is going out of my bank account, and I don't think I can afford that, but come on, it's an electric guitar! It's music! I cannot live without music! Speaking of music, I havn't had much time to listen to music, I listen to it every day but I never have enough time to listen to it a lot. I am always too busy reading my book, The Soloist, and I need to catch up on it so I have been reading for ages. I love that book, it's amazing. It is about music, it's on classical music, but still. It is so good, and I just want to finish it so that I can have more time to listen to my music. That is why I have been reading so much, but I just feel so empty without listening to my music. Oh well. So anyway, I only found out today that the party I am having with Teagan is on this Saturday! I really want to invite a lot of people, just for the sake of getting presents. I mean, I want to see my friends and all, but I just hate having parties. I can't stand it, the only reason I am agreeing to this one is because of the presents. Well,I just... I have specific people I want to invite, like Dylan, David and Kyle, Josh P. and... Ya that's pretty much it. Anyway, I will just need to discuss it with Teagan. URGH! I hate my mom! She thinks that I have some sort of attitude just because I am going to be a teenager in 2 days. It's like if Ruth would have said that to her, she would have gotten angry, sure, but she wouldn't have said much. She says to me that she doesn't want any of my teenage crap. I have no teenage crap! I HATE HER SO MUCH! I am just so frustrated right now... I just need to go relax. I think I will just go read. I am meant to be on chapter 31 but I am only on chapter 24, which kind of sucks and that means I am way behind. (sigh) well, bye.

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