• once upon a time, i believed in order i lined up bottles just so on counter tops I woke up at times without a hint of daylight i ignored my body's every whim and desire i wanted only to be perfectly invisible i thought it would make me beautiful flash forward to a heartbreak, a head over heels, a sweet serenade a window tattoo, some pink purple hair, and then once again back to boring brown if you think about it, no one cares about your life but you there's the necessary tasks, sure,things like making good grades and having a few people to waste the time with but other than that, all the remaining hours are yours it is perfectly acceptable to have nothing to show for your freedom no one will ever ask for an exact account if you blend in enough, if you laugh, if you cry... it's just another way of being invisible i haven't been to the gym in ages i smoke and i eat and i eat and i don't get fat i have no idea why maybe i'm magical maybe the rules of body chemistry just don't apply i never used to care much for sleeping i thought it was a waste of time i can cut away hours now 10, sometimes even 12 the motivation to get out of bed sooner, just for the sake of moving has left me all together i am weak i am human i wanted to be so much more, but now I'm not sure if i really care what's the point of having your shit together when most things just work themselves out in the end my boyfriend walked in on me cheating can you believe that? how fucking stupid how purely ordinary and yet, i hardly even cared i knew it would work out, and it did we"re practically in love now how sickeningly adorable i wish someone would shake me but no one ever does so I'll just keep on bleeding lifeless

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