• I love how now that when I write I black out and go on a huge rant. But yet the rant isn't always on paper. Or typed. It's within my own thoughts. That's the scary part. I start to remember past memories, events that I only wish to forget. Regretting every mistake that I have ever made. Regretting meeting people. But then it'll switch over to a happier time and i'll start to smile. But wait there's anothr part to it; I start remembering my childhood and it only makes me hate my father more. He made me like this. How I get attached to anyone I talk to for to long. I guess now I know when I need to go on my own. I do it a lot acctually. Just dropping everything and everyone to spend alone time in my room for a week or more at a time. I'll get text after text; call after call but yet I won't answer them. Maybe I like being alone? Maybe I like just remembering everything. But then why do i cry? Why do i go on these rampages and rants that can last for only seconds but have a lasting effect on not only people but the people around me when it happens.

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