• ninteen it's as good an age as any this is the real world now kid one more year and it's an even adulthood no more coddling no more reassurance what was once a persona becomes a defined personality every action speaks volumes to who you really are I'm just trying to figure out how to shape that before someone else just decides for me there are some people in this world you just click with i wish there was a better less cliched way to explain it, but there isn't it's not chemistry exactly it's more elusive, like a game of chess where all the players are invisible and you just have to visualize the board in your mind even with that much absence you can almost sense the next move you rely on hearing, touch, taste it's so instinctual i am lucky in that i have found four people in my life like this because these are the ones that will shape you if you let them here are my interesting experiences here is my acid and my ecstasy, my mushrooms and my heroine you take the realness out of reality and everything else just slips away nobody is actually the way they present themselves it is those with an inner sense of all that is incomplete that seem to gravitate towards me give me philisophical conversations give me nihilism and exestentialism i reject the beauty of our youth i believe in make up and high heels and assimilating to our culture find what is recognizable and claim it as your own there is no point in reinvention no matter how engraved in your marrow it is, your body always carries the traces of your old life there is no turning back every mistake has been made in the darkest stains happiness is just too simple i feel everything in this world in a whirlwind

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