• orange powder, lick it up palm of hands, water bottles swallowing time in little beads swallowing the cure to lack of conformity time passes by in terms of pages chapter hours, neat blocked off units i am:that much smarter that much more prepared that much more filled with something i never wanted inside last night was better he was here, in my room somebody working in the orbit somebody to lend a little warmth sleepless nights who needs dreams when you actually like your life for a change? get on that level, scrape beneath skin and bones talk about the nevers and maybes ask the unanswerable throw your brilliance and resillance around like it is a sword of the finest armor already, i feel better i do i feel better time passes faster in a good way and i am somebodys plaything i wish he was here right now aloneness seems like a long time ago who says a week is always the same amount of time? the way you spend your conscious hours absolutely changes everything i talked to matt today and i didn't need it cruel words and tone i am no longer so desperate i dont want your charity i want hope of something good i have that now i really do best night in a while hold it in my chest and sing til the room spins around i am becoming somebody i believe in and as it turns out, you're only another observer

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