• So recently I've been thinking about baby names. I'm not exactly sure where I want to go with this, but I guess I should continue now that I have begun. Well i'm kind of scared how everything is going to turn out. Since my finace' is now avoiding speaking about the subject; probably because he knows its not going to get easier from here. He always tries to get me to talk about sex. Which I really don't want to do. I'm not sure if he's doing it because he hasn't gotten any in the past couple weeks or if its just so i'll change the subject. I wonder if he realizes how upsetting this makes me a lot of the time. It makes me feel as if he's not going to stick around much longer. He always gets angry at me if i say no. What should I do? I'll be alone in the world without him. All my friends are abondoning me. JR always tells me he loves me. But i'm not sure if its the lust thats blind sighting him. I've always been an overactive thinker; which makes me a little paranoid about things sometimes. That's probably why i'm writing this to completely no one hoping someone in the same situation i'm in would read it as well. I guess it would probably be comforting to know someone out there understands; since none of my friends support me. See my friend, Renee she wants me to get an abortion. As well as my mom as soon as she finds out i'm pregnant (which she'll be figuring out this month) I'm completely against abortions. That's not the baby's choice. And to give up something that's apart of me something that's supposed to be a gift just to make my family happy and keep a social life that's fucking pathetic. I would never do that! And as for adoption, if i'm going through that much pain over nine months and then the pain of giving birth i'd prefer to watch him or her grow along side of myself. Don't you agree? Wait who am i talking to? The voice in my head? What the fuck?! I'm nuts! I'm completely and utterly nuts! This can't be happening! I just addressed someone that probably will never read this journal entry as the noun you! There's deffinetly to much on my mind. I can't wait to be able to talk to someone about things....it would help me so much more.

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