Sunday Nov. 7th 2010

  • Today started pretty good. I went to clubbig in mexico. I went with the boys baseball team. Bubba invited me over to hangout with Gabe, Marcus, Jason, Justin one of the canadians and his girlfriend. I was exctited i felt like maybe i could finally have friends besides the soccer team. I just realied i do not trust anyone. I caught bubba with another girl. It made me sick and made me automatically think of mario and wonder if he had done the exact same thing. Bubba justified it by saying that they just watched a movie. I would not be okay if mario did that. And i could see him thinking its okay because he was just watching a movie so he wouldnt tell me. I am so glad i happened to find this website again. It really helps get my feelings out by analyzing songs and talking about how they relate to me. Even though im not really telling anyone it helps to have somewhere safe where i can put my feelings out and know people are reading it and that they are seeing how i feel and yet they have no idea who i am. i LOVE that it really helps. im just so conused with mario i dont know what to do. explaining bring me down really helped me. i feel alot calmer. Also reading someones explanation of more like her. One girl said that its about the same person. And that he was in love with the girl she was at the beginnin and began to lose it as she changed. That is exactly what mario has said. I am constantly striving to be that same girl and am constantly failing.
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