• what do you do when soemthing you've worked so hard to build comes crashing again and again and you keep working things out and you think finally you're almost back to normal where you want to be and then it crashes down again. Im dying, ive come to terms with that, what i cant come to terms with is the fact that im now clinically insane, yeh i said it, apparently my mental state of mind is pretty fucked up, not normal fucked up like i thought, no im clinically insane im now living without metal cutlery in the house, and im on a suicide watch almost everyday because apparently im a risk to myself, well i know that, my scars prove that. but im ok with being a cutter, im ok with suicidal thoughts, im not okay with the fact that im going to have to tell ppl, that im clinically crazy that by the book im so fucked up that they are thinking about locking me up in a padded cell yep padded cell just like the movies, why? because i will hurt myself, because i want to hurt myself, because i want to die, because i need to die, im so over this feeling of worthless and hopelessness, its draining and fucks with my head and i feel terrible

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