Onlii I could be so cruel

  • I am constantly blaiming others for my actions. I know that this is what drives people away... and yet thats why i do it. I am fearfull of what may happen if i care for another... I lay awake at night sometimes... and play our song... our old song.. and to stop the crying i place a pillow over my waist and pretend its your comforting arm... Even thought we never touched i know that this is what you would do if you could see me in the condition i am in. I realize i do not type my thoughts publicly to get comfort from my readers... but i do it so i can look back at them and give pity to myself... I need to change... but how?
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