• you remind me of you the way everything used to be when i would look up at you like you were an angel, the center of a universe and in turn i'd expect nothing less than the cold darkness of deep blue lakes frozen ponds, mental imagery connecticut snow please don't take me home it should be fall, but here is stuck in a perpetual summerland my hair is growing, the blonde is fading my clothes, my face it's all so normal i wake up in the morning and get back in bed i try to study i just can't care i watch a movie every day i try the organized activiities and i ask myself, where dpo you want to be? and i never know the answer writing is the onl;y thing i've ever been good at the words i say to people come out wrong, twisted i can never get it together fast enough,right enough i stumble and tremble shiver and swoon if i weren't me, i bet i'd be invincible he never answers and i don't expect him i hug the teddy bear, like a little girl regress back to childhood memories regress back to love and happiness i wasn't unhappy until i started thinking realism ruins everything i miss the pretty color lies i have decided that atleast for now, no boy can touch me stop and no brought back to life you don't want this anyway you have no idea how used i am it's called being careless i think it's a good thing i want to push them away sex that has no love makes me feel so lonely i don't want sweat or lust or passion all i can dream of is matt and singing on picnic tables our promises our dreams i still mean it when i say you have my whole heart i don't know how to get over you i don't know how to let go break my fucking wrists to get me off i just don't have the willpower

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