Smile when you can't stand it

  • upward becomes the sky and stars outward becomes a hand too far to grasp and i fall into abysses wide and narrow this is what it means to be alone when nobody can even watch you struggle and you are so locked out that the words don't even come out in the same language and nothing you write really makes much sense i should be doing Spanish homework but instead i watched tv true life: i have lost all the pieces i am here in this zone of made up stories and nothing seems to hit home anymore nobody ever has conferences about rainbows nothing free has any real value we live in a market society love is a product to sell he loves me, he leaves me he hates me, he needs me do people change? or just reset everything is so atmospheric cold vs warm light vs storm basic needs of human motivation why is it that the only things i want for myself are so intangible the dreams are so abstract i dont even know where to start wasting time, wasting time little hisses in the back of my skull break the seal i hate to feel i cry so much for absolutely no reason when we first hugged and i couldn't let go is my defining moment the smell and the warmth it brought me home i used to want to get out so bad college, i said the big bad world well now im here where are the changes? i still don't feel special i still don't feel alive we need other people to be exciting you can't be interesting if you never leave your room but i dont want to go out by myself and end up talking to nobody there are absolute truths in every lifetime i hate everybody else and all i want to do is watch tv its disgusting but i said it there is me in a nutshell a girl who in theory wants to make her life amazing but is actually too scared to even try she feels awkward everywhere she doesn't stand out she doesn't fit in instead she watches everybody else and changes into everything she wishes they were
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2 Comments

  • You are clever and introspective. For any change to occur, we must first set it in motion. Love cannot be bought or sold. Love is free, though it does take a toll. Think positive sister, stagnancy breeds negativity. Stir it up. I love your words.

    Julietsonon October 16, 2010   Link

  • You are beautiful and wonderful. Thank you for being in this world.

    neatocheetoon October 16, 2010   Link

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