if i really turn my life around
and emulate a person who has her shit together
maybe eventually all the pieces that just want to go to sleep and try again some other day
will somehow break off and spiral out
and i will be left with clean white lines
where i feel something like safety
the idea of having nobody to talk to
of swallowing every ache
of waking up with nothing
makes my chest open and spin and i cant remember
what it was like to feel loved
and not fully appreciate every moment
maybe when i come home i will forget everything
and i can press a reset button and begin without the scars
there will be no mistakes or life erasing
efficiency
mcdonaldazation
and eventually perhaps someone will reach out and say
"hey what the fuck is wrong with you?"
and i will just smile and say
he loved me and i chose the weather
so now i am alone in my sunshine
we suck it up cuz there's no way to cry in style
- October 12, 2010
- ideaofcrying
- No Comments
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