never had a dream come true

  • all my life i've relied on dreams to keep me sane. and now more than ever these musings are my only sanctuary. take last night for instance. i dreamed that kristen stewart and i were in each other's arms and it was like i felt secure for the first time in years. i was just staring into her eyes and it felt like bliss. weird i know, cos my infatuation with her has been growing slowly with every day and every hour, but that feeling when you wake up after a dream like that, one that felt so real, it's such a downer. besides, girls like her only ever get guys who are media icons and have all the publicity in the world. they don't ever go for ordinary guys like us. not that i can blame kristen. she keeps constant company with these people. in a nutshell, i wish her happiness in whatever she does in life and with whoever she's gonna be with. when i read that she has an interest in coming down to australia to study and write and all that i was like "yay she's on the same soil as me" but i know in my mind that i'll still be too far away from her. i wrote in my previous entry about how someday i hope i can be able to be in a position where i can help someone who's getting picked on or abused and let someone know that there are people who care about them. perhaps i might even come across a girl as lonely as i am and just sweep her off her feet and take her for a ride. it would make life better for the both of us. i also wrote about the agony of hearing or reading of someone being abused and no one willing to interfere, and that i wanted to interfere so much but i was miles away and couldn't do anything about, and i ache over what could have happened, if someone HAD lended a hand to someone in distress then maybe things might have turned out different. i hate how people's lives are being destroyed by these things and no one seems to want anything to do with them. i just wish there was more humanity in the world. i know there are good people like that out there but there's not enough. the vast majority still stand and stare as if it's not their problem and putting the well-being of themselves before others. i hate to swear but if fucking stinks. i wish the world wasn't filled with so many faceless people with no sense of empathy for anybody. i know we're all strangers but at the end of the day, if someone's in strife and needs picking up we should all be there for each other. LOVE is God greatest gift and we should all take the time to give it to people who need it most. listen to me i sound like a bloody televangelist schmuck but it's so close to my heart i really couldn't give two cents. i read julietson's journal entry today (if you're reading i hope you don't mind me saying this) and i thought, 'Now there's a guy who's got a good heart, got something to give. he also sounds like he's in love with someone like i am ;) and putting it into words.' just so you know, anyone can refer to any of my journal entries whenever they like ;) if someone can read this and connect with my stories and feel like they're not alone it'll make each of us feel a little better. i know that why i'm here there's three things i can give to people reading this journal and i'll close this entry by doing so. peace V love
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