• for a large part of my life, there's one thing that's always driven me insane, and that's whenever i try to offer some encouragement or just try to make someone feel better, there's always repercussions. take today, for instance. there's this young girl who's been receiving some unwanted attention from a couple of guys and all i wanted to do was say hi to this girl and tell her she's doing the right thing by not giving in to these guys. i was just trying to be a little friendly with her cos i hate it when guys won't leave girls alone when they want space. i don't really know if i should name the girl's username or not for fear of this happening to her again. i want to so badly but i have to respect her privacy if she wants it. i found this out in one of this girl's journal entries, and when i pressed REPLY it wouldn't go through. so i had to write the whole message of support again and then press REPLY again but still it wouldn't work. i spend pretty much all of my days alone, and whenever i try to be friendly with someone something always goes wrong. it makes me feel so useless. maybe that's the reason why i'm always so shy around everyone; that and my asperger's. another sick feeling i get is whenever i hear or read a news story about someone getting bullied or abused, and i just have this feeling of being so helpless cos i just want to reach out and help them when in reality i'm too far away to do anything. one thing that makes me REALLY upset is when a girl/s is/are being raped by someone in broad daylight and no one offers to help her/them. like those three girls from Mentone who were attacked by that sicko in/around a store or something. it's during these rape stories that i get the most angry cos i hate how anyone could do that to a girl who has no bad intentions. i just wanted to give those girls a hug and check if they were okay. just to let someone know that someone's looking out for them. one night, a couple of years earlier, i heard a story about how Ron Barassi came to the rescue of a girl who was getting beaten up by five or six of these so-called "big" men. the incident divided many people about whether to help in a time of crisis or just stay away, and this issue reached my family. my parents said to me that if i was ever in Ron's situation i should stay away because they don't want me getting hurt. they thought that Ron did a foolish thing. and then i retaliated by saying that was selfish, and that i would always go and help that person because i would be prepared to put their well-being ahead of mine. i am NOT the kind of guy who stares doing nothing while some innocent/vulnerable person is getting beaten the crap out of. but of course i can't do anything about it because i'm so far away from these victims. whenever i yearn to pick someone up and help them in any way possible i'm either too far away or there's always some kind of setback. but i can't give up. otherwise i might stay alone forever. i've gotta keep on givin' just a little bit of love (platonic and humane, not sexual) and support and hopefully i can make someone feel better about themselves or save them from their plight. i doubt if anyone's reading this journal but i honestly do hope someone is because it's a part of my personality that i hold dearly. knowing my luck if i press SUBMIT it probably won't do that at all. but here goes...

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