• I love fall.
  What a wicked season. That and spring.
  I hate hate hate winter.
  All I do is slip slide and "away I go" when It comes to walking.
  I now put on ice grippers on my shoes, and they help termendously.
  Fall is also a signal to the official end of "CAPRIS" season.
  Ohhhhhh mannnnnn
  Dont get me started on capris, you know the kind women wear...from the upper knee or calf down.
  Well, there is alot of history about me and capris and David.
  He adored BBW in Capris. I owned a few...but HATED myself in them..and hardly wore them. I did buy 2 pairs this summer...that actually for the first time, looked nice. I wore one set out to a club...and the other...I think Ive 3 worn times.
  Ive always hated my legs...maybe that is why I hate capris.
  Anyhoo....Capris have always been a real sore spot between me and David.
  You could say a "battle line" was drawn about carpis.
  YES...it was that out of control.
  
  I see BBW in capris now...and Im totally mentally fucked up.
  HOW you may ask?
  Well, First thing that comes to mind is..."David would say ______about her"
  oh yeah...Im commenting on women ON HIS behalf.
  How fucked up am I?
  The other thing, is how I wish I had just worn them for him...and swollowed MY issues and MY pride and just pleased my boyfriend.
  He wasnt asking for blood for petes sake.
  They were carpris..and would have made him so happy.
  
  The fact that I will no longer, be able to please him or have another shot at that...urks me termendously.
  
  So, I officially HATE capris.
  I officially HATE any BBW in capris.
  
  ohh yeah...Im totally certifable.
  
  I had the chance last night...to go out with the girls, or go to dads for dinner.
  
  I chose my family. I will always choose my father. Always.
  
  The family was there again. All of us...14 for dinner.
  Thank god that creepo wasnt there this time. I wasnt really in the mood for any creepy comments again.
  My dad went for his Xray last week. Thank god. Ive been praying for that. If anyone eles has...I thank you. Getting him to go...was the first hurdle.
  Roast chicken..was done on the BBQ...yum. Sweet potatoes, salads, and buns. Simple dinner...with my home made apple pie for dessert. All 3 of my pies were GONE within 1 hour. That and 2 pots of tea.
  Steve played the guitar after dinner again...but since it was raining so hard....we sat in the living room
  He started solo...as he often does.
  Bon Jovi - Wanted dead or Alive ( he nailed the beggining...sounded so good!)
  Living on a prayer...(havent heard that in years)
  Poison- Every rose has its thorn.( I knew none of the words to that one)
  Rush- Closer to the heart. ( hard to listen to this one...reminds me of David..)
  More rush songs...but I cant remember them. They sounded good of course.
  
  I didnt leave until 1am......it was such a good night.
  
  
  
  
  I dont want comments on my eyes, or on me for that matter.
  I want to SLIDE under MENS radar period.
  I wish I was invisible to all men.
  Invisible to all.......but David.
  Why cant god grant my wish?
  Ive been praying hard on my hands and knees...wanting him to grant my wishes. My pleas. The tears...are endless. Ive promised my heart, mind and soul if he would only grant me one thing.
  One more chance, to make that man my husband.
  
  Not a boyfriend
  Not a friend
  My husband
  
  I have it all planned out in my mind...how I would treat that man.
  that man that has been threw world war 3..that man who has (and is?) suffering.
  Im not your average woman. I believe Im one of the last dying kinds of women there is on this earth.
  
  no tatoos
  No Piercings (do my ears count? :)
  I cook
  I bake
  I clean
  I cater to my man.
  I work
  I decorate
  I believe in a 12 hour day
  I believe in a nice clean comfy home
  I believe in being my mans ship mate...NOT the captain.
  I beleive the man holds the horse by the reins while Im behind him
  I believe in restrant with money. Make some, spend some, save some.
  I believe in plans, and dreams..and the plan to get to them.
  I believe the final say is my husband (gasp) even though sometimes, I fight a bit for my say.
  I believe in "till death to you part". No Divorce, unless he cheats or hits you. Thick and THIN...women of today only want the GOOD times, the FAT times, first sign of trouble..and they bail ship.
  They find another man that will give them what they believe is OWED to them. DESERVED? perhaps..but most times not.
  I believe the bibles way, of running a christian household. Why? because it works.
  
  I dont believe in how alot of these women today...are all "HE can cook for me, HE can cater to me, IM NOT DOING HIS LAUNDY"
  I wont tell you some of the things, my friends say about their husbands. It gets my blood pressure up. Let me tell ya...they are all self liberated, stuck up feminists..who want their cake AND eat it too. Women..you cant have it BOTH WAYS. No wonder men are fed up with women. Im fed up with women.
  Im also fed up with men.
  
  Anyways enough dribble.
  
  Time to go make Sunday dinner.
  
  Roast beef
  Yorkies
  Gravy
  Veggies
  homemade apple pie with ice creme
  
  

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