• So im sitting here in this house all alone and it hits me, ive fucked everything worthwhile up, sure ppl will say im still alive and everything, and all that, but i honestly have, every relationship ive had either ive done soemthing that fucks it up, or i do something subconsciously that fucks it i mean for christ sake am i not meant to be happy? i mean of all my like i get george our loverly friend george who atm is making my life miserable im not aloud to do anything no fried food, no drinking, excersise everyday but yeh thats not a bad thing but its a fucking hard adjustment and its killing me, i woke up this morning to more hair on my pillow, its not falling out in clumps though its just hinning like a bitch, pretty soon ill have no choice but to shave ti all off completely. im afraid of that day, when i finally have to face this shit and tell everyone absolutely everything about george. its not a nice feeling then i suddenly get a flash about blades again, i swore i stopped that stopped for good and then it flashes in my head and my sides ache and i feel like i wanna but i dont but i do >< fuck im losing control again of everything i finally get it back after my heart is broken and now im losing it all again fuck tis a bad bad time in my head and its not changing and this music probs isnt helping but ive waited so long for this, i guess its ironic that songs telling the guy that someday soon the weight of the world will give him the strength to "go" i feel like going right now

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