he ruined everything
i had all the words stretched out for hours
the pieces so connected all brought together
i had it and he raped it
went inside and gauged out the guts and intestines with a knife
i had a life inside of there you know
i had a belief of happy
so now i have to start over
new name
new words
i meet people and i forget
replacing everything
one name at a time
i stay awake for absolutely no reason
just to say i can i guess
just to experience
i have come to a point in my life where i actually have a philosophy
practice at believing in nothing has made me smile
i know i do not matter
i like to watch myself bend into the shapes of other people's needs
it makes me feel strong to be used
because i just feel so fucking aware of everything going wrong
drugs have faded into an afterthought
its not as fun when its so easy
theres just too much opportunity
so i let some pass me by in a way that i never would have before
this is what it means to be 18 and free
this is what it is to feel alive
i am now allowed to kiss strangers and laugh in rooms of the silent
i feel tiny and liberated
i need to be writing more
this is my new life and i want to mark a beginning
i've never written a love song
- September 07, 2010
- ideaofcrying
- No Comments
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