• Im leaving soon to go to my fathers...and start my nagging session about him going for blood work and erays. I wont be alone in my mission. I have my brothers there, to also jump into the conversation..and a beautiful little girl to jump onto this lap..and say "do if for me grandpa". Shes my secret weapon today. If he wont budge for us...he WILL for that kid. He loves her to death. If I say..."you want to be around to see her walk down the isle?" maybe that will hit home. Im excited about seeing my family. I love my family very much...intense. We may be british/canadian/Italian in decent. BUT We are so Italian in devotion, and dedication. Ive seen that we are there for each other...when the shit hits the fan...its like we all scurry together, and become like a pack of wolves, protecting the meek injured one in the pack. I can relax with my family. I wear sweats, hair in a pony tail, no make up..and its all good. Im in my circle. We sit at the kitchen table, with music playing on the stereo in the living room so we can hear it..and comment on the song. (my dads music of course..and we all love it..) our dogs are at our feet. Jazz our family Pit bull, and my greyhound Target. they sit together...lay together, under someones feet. We sit and drink tea. tea and more tea. (there is that british coming out) there are always cookies on the table. Or chips (my brothers love chips) None of us show up empty handed (thats the italian way) today, I am bringing a peach pie for dessert. We sit at that table..and talk, and laugh..and discuss our lives. My dad is so personable. He is so wise. You can tell him ANYTHING and not be judged. well, he might say your a wanker for making a stupid mistake. But, then ..we all laugh and cut each other up..for making a dumb move. That table fits 10 ppl..and its normally packed..and we add more chairs, as his freinds will show up. Today, he has 2 friends also invited for dinner. Dinner is a family event. We all get up from the table and help out. there is no "slacking off" Dad does the BBQ. We bring him the food..and he cooks it perfectly. Im noramally incharge of chopping things. I chop Onions..and I just dont cry. Figure that...hahaha..Ive probobly said "show your british" with onions too. The food is over the top. there is always enough to feed the entire street. He cooks enough food for 50 ppl. No one leaves hungry...never. And desert is served. Oh god..there goes the belt. Most of us know..you were elastic pants to his house. After supper Tea: this is when the more serious conversations happen. We might sit out on the back porch now...let the dogs run and play..and the meat and potatoes of life, get discussed. Then..the bonfire. We will have a bonfire in the dead of winter. Thats canadian for you. If we have a workable fire pit..its going to get used. We bundle up..and stand there at the fire..holding our hot drinks..while we chat. Going back inside..we merge at the table once more..and have more tea. I dont think anyone really ever wants to leave dads Weve always said...(us kids) that when he dies...we dont know what we will do. Who are we going to see on Sundays? who are we going to call on Sundays? Who will hold our family dinners??? these are questions I will not think about now. Im not going to cry..and think about what will tear me from limb to limb..or gut me like Jack the Rippers Last victim. No..why think about it, till I have too? We are leaving to go see dad early. Grace wants to pick some apples from his orchard. There are apparently tons of apples ready to harvest...and dad said, "your going home with a heap" then...Grace wants to go with her papa to the barn Dad owns racehorses. She loves going with him, to feed them their dinner. She is such a horse fanatic. Just like her papa. He likes just him and her to go alone. He makes it something,..that only they share. TEll me this man isnt amazing. God hes amazing. He loves her and looks at her, that I must been looked at too as a kid. He keeps calling her my name. "oops...she looks like you..thats why I do that...". I dont think she looks like me. however, I have tons of people tell me "shes a mini you...she looks like you" no...she looks like Grace. She is so much prettier than her mom. God Bless her. well, its time to get ready to leave.

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