• so i had something great something fantastic and because i feel head over heels for the girl ive been madly in love with for about a year now, i fucked it up, i fucked it so majorly i doubt she'll even want 2 be my friend ever again. why the fuck didnt i just stay true 2 who i am? why did i have to do everything her ex didnt do and it still pushed her away. i guess its true what they say, you never know what you've got until its gone. i fucking wish i could take it all back take back my mistakes take back everything that changed what we had, i wish i wasnt such a fool, i wish i wasnt such a hopeless romantic, i wish just for once i could truly be happy with someone and that someone to be her, i dont want anyone else i never will want anyone else as much as i want her and yes i know things probably will never be the same and yes i know ive probably got no hope in hell of ever being what she wants again, but i dont care i love her more then anything in this entire universe more than life itself, ive tried not thinking about it, ive tried forgetting about her, it just doesnt happen, my mind is always on her, and im not sick of it, i never will be sick of it, sure it hurts like hell knowing that she may never be with me again even as just a friend but i have to hope that one day someday she can forgive me and we can have what we had before again, that we can have a life together, that for one tiny instant in the universe, we can be happy together, and we can just know that regardless of the rest of the world we can just be, you and me. I just wish i wasnt such a dickhead i wish i didnt fuck up immensely i wish, oh how i wish that life just once for all of time would throw me a bone and let me start this all again. let me try what i know is meant to be, i know i still love you and i always will and i know that you still love me, im just to big a fuck up to truly be what you deserve, you deserve so much better than me, so much more than i can give, all i can give you is my heart and my love, and everything that is me, even just to be just friends again. I cant even think anymore im balling my eyes out who knew you'd be the one to do this to me more then once in a lifetime, i hope i just hope that we can be something again. and i know she wont read this unless i link it to her and i doubt she will read this even if i do, i just have to say it. I Love You Bec and i dont care who knows

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