• Ooooh, a journal. Journals are always so appealing. It is the chance to give away personal information, to make one moment eternal as if it wouldn't hurt anyone and nobody would read it. But moments cannot be measured--they are fleeting. Your readers do not realize this. You are being watched at all times. Your moments become mixed up and misinterpretted. Your moment becomes something it is not...forever. I pity all future moments. Then again, writing can be beautiful.... _________________________________________________ So, for the sake of revealing too much and not allowing time to pass as it normally would, here is my personal tidbit of the day: Today I was labelled. I did not know how to feel about this. I still don't. If I am the closest thing to a goth this school has, what does that say about my school? Still...why must people be able to notice me, how can I fade to the background when I am too distinct? If only I could help it. I also found something out I did not want to find out, but all it brought me was nausia and confusion. I am too easily manipulated, I cannot read people and so I must not trust anyone. Why must I live through the pain of mistrust over the whole world? It actually hurts a bit, it is a dull pain on a normal day...but when I hear a side I'd never heard before, it stings in such a way... how deep it digs. Who is telling the truth, and who is lying? How will I ever know? It scares me that I may never know, and it hurts that someone is lying, it hurts that I will never know who it is, and so I have no choice but to mistrust the one who is honest...if one of them is honest at all... I feel so betrayed, but I am not sure who has betrayed me...all I know is that one of them would be worse than the other if that one is the liar (or are they hiding information from me? Have they always hid information? What does that say about that one? What does that say about me?). I fear interaction and avoid it for this reason...what else can I do? Where else can I find peace? **Oh, I simply must add this to my wholeness story... The again, pain can be beautiful...

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