• its just a box, but you can get lost in there how many hours of my life have i wasted staring into a screen of make believe i feel so useless and empty when i am alone, unless i am creating every breath just feels to big, undeserved if all i do is sit on a couch, then why was i given a capable body i stare at other scripted lives and it always amazes me how easily they do it the way they blend each character connects to one another like the blades of grass in a field the origin of them all is just so obvious and they're always doing nobody ever just sits around there is always a dance or a party or a class and every scene is just five minutes long if i could disappear into a sitcom, i am not sure how long i would last it must be exhausting to be so unrealistically perfect probably even harder then just hanging out feeling invisible and the deepest connection is your butt and the couch if you ask me what i have been doing all summer i will say "working and hanging out" and this will pass as accurate but sometimes i get so caught up on the way we summerize time just gloss over the empty parts at clip it into little categories how could i have been alive for over 18 years and filled so little of that time with meaning? worse still, why is that ok? i dont get it im trapped in a world thats been wasted and nobdy seems to notice

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