• today i was outside with my dog when it started to pour. instead of running inside, i laid down in the grass and felt the rain drench my body and my dress. i have no idea if it lasted a minute or an hour, but it felt like everything was being washed away. joe purdy's promise is finally fulfilled. everything disappeared: the fear of the future, the sadness of lost love, the frustration of not being able to be friends. when the downpour became a light rain, i stood up and looked around at the gray surroundings. at first i didn't understand how i was feeling, only now do i understand. the heaviness that has been planted in my heart for these few long months has lifted. then, as if on a cue, the clouds parted and i have never seen the sun and sky so radiant. the pavement and grass shone from the rain and it looked like i had found my very own heaven. i looked at my dog and my heart filled with such a strong love for her and my life in general that i almost cried out. this love is painful and overpowering and beautiful. and it was right then that i learned what the meaning of life is. for me, at least. love. that is the reason i was put here on this earth. not just the soul-binding romantic love, but different kinds too. like love for my family, love for my friends. love for my favorite food and favorite movie. love for who i am. so now everything makes sense. for now, no i am not in love, but it will come again. and it will be stronger than i could ever imagine. so for the time being i'm going to do what makes me happy. why have i been hanging on to things that cut through my heart? it is july 20th, 2010, 1:25 pm and i am officially letting go. and drifting through the current of summer until august 2nd. that is when my life begins again. "we must be willing to let go of the life we have planned, so as to accept the life that is waiting for us." - joseph campbell

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