• i do believe there is a part inside of me that is somehow sick and twisted around what everybody thinks i am a mirror image a reflection an accidental eye contact i need to be needed loved despised the gym today, ghosts of the past if you havent, you shouldnt go to the places you used to thrive touch walls that dance with memories and light and recieve, remember all you are is still tinged with a hint of who you were i regress into my old bad habits logic is a game and i am losing notice me, look at me, look look look i am powerful, beautiful, brave and strong i have worked hard for this and gace it all away please aknowledge i am grasping for a piece people never change, not in a certain setting and so when i want attention, all i get is guilt im sorry matt, oh so sorry at first its just an idea, some words filling air and space i dont mean them, not yet i have a remote control fastforward button suprise suprise:this one too shall pass we made love or fucked, whichever works better backseat, sweaty, messy i liked it because it meant safety it meant i could return to the role of matts girlfriend i am slowly crossing out the letters im who i used to be following the rules again, because i so hate consequences speeding tickets and some bullshit excuses i do not want to live hypocritically if im still afraid, im still afraid i will stay for guitar i will sign out at school only a month, count down the days will the sun set in my corner tonight?

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