ahhh shit. seriously 18 fucking days left and its like theyre trying to cram 1180000000000 days worth of learning into it. like no fuck that its over jut let us slack and end this fucking year. im so sick of this shit. im so stressed its ridiculous my stomach is permanently in knots over it and i have the feeling like i wanna puke alll the time now. all the work is just piling on top of each other and it feels like as soon as i finish one things theres another thing to replace it so nothing ever gets done. i feel unproductive and like i do so much work yet nothing gets done at all. i wish i could just stop and relax but i cant so im always on edge im always wired and im always tired. my nerves are shot to hell. i snap at the tiniest thing. i feel bad because i know im hurting the people around me but i cant stand it i need this to end and it wont end. i know this is my ridiculous perfectionism type a personality coming through and it sucks. im dying here and i know next year im just going to drown.
and this boy needs to stop trying to impress/ flirt with me because its not working i dont like i never will like him so get over it. i have enough to deal with right now. and its so hard because im an awful person sending stupid mixed signals and i know i have no intention of ever going through with it.
i wanna eat all the time too and i think im gaining weight from it. ugh kill me now.
May 25, 2010
- May 25, 2010
- bcrxing
- 1 Comment
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